Thursday, April 11, 2019

“Malibu Express” Movie Review


    I have only recently become aware of the film library director Andy Sidaris has created.  Now, I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing but it definitely makes for some interesting viewing experiences.  Thanks to the good folks at Mill Creek Entertainment, they provided me “Malibu Express” for review purposes.
    The film tells the story of a private eye named Cody Abilene as he gets wrapped in a family conflict which includes infertility and murder.  Through his journey, Cody encounters boobs, butts, more butts, more boobs, and a few jokes about butts and boobs.
    Darby Hinton stars as Cody Abilene and rocks an amazing mustache.  I can’t say much about his acting or the acting of the others in the film other than it is about on par with your average 70s porno film.  With a cast that includes a great deal of Playboy playmates, is it any wonder?  The film objectifies women to an almost comical degree.
    How ridiculous is this movie you might ask?  Well, right off the bat, a mechanic exclaims “This car is tits” right before a character named June Khnockers exposes her breasts.  Did you get the subtly there?  Which brings to light the real tragedy of this film, “Malibu Express” was so low budget, they couldn’t even afford bras for the actresses.
    Let me discuss Cody again for a moment.  In the film, he is a private eye who is willing to help any woman in distress, or out of their dress in most cases.  Anyway, he does some great detective work in the movie, tampering with a crime scene and removing evidence before accidentally having the wrong person arrested for murder.  “CSI” this is not.  Hell, this isn’t even “Police Squad!”’
    What did I just watch?  Director Andy Sidaris sure does love his tasteful shots of butts.  Did I say tasteful?  I meant tasteless.  People remove articles of clothing in this film like they were playing hot potato with them.
    This movie was so incredibly silly it’s hard to put to words.  The hillbilly infused score left a sour taste in my mouth.  I did like the DeLorean vs. Fiero race scene however in part because my father owned a Pontiac Fiero.
    Like “Hard Ticket to Hawaii”, “Malibu Express” is a famous B movie and considered a fun movie to watch in a group of film buffs.  I have to admit that I found this film to be more consistently silly personally.  Was the movie enjoyable?  Was it good?  I guess it depends on your sense of humor.  

Grade: D+

(Although in a group of film buffs who enjoy B movies, I would grade this film a B because double D isn’t an actual grade I can give it).




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