“Malibu Express” Movie Review

    I have only recently become aware of the film library director Andy Sidaris has created.  Now, I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing but it definitely makes for some interesting viewing experiences.  Thanks to the good folks at Mill Creek Entertainment, they provided me “Malibu Express” for review purposes.

    The film tells the story of a private eye named Cody Abilene as he gets wrapped in a family conflict which includes infertility and murder.  Through his journey, Cody encounters boobs, butts, more butts, more boobs, and a few jokes about butts and boobs.

    Darby Hinton stars as Cody Abilene and rocks an amazing mustache.  I can’t say much about his acting or the acting of the others in the film other than it is about on par with your average 70s porno film.  With a cast that includes a great deal of Playboy playmates, is it any wonder?  The film objectifies women to an almost comical degree.

    How ridiculous is this movie you might ask?  Well, right off the bat, a mechanic exclaims “This car is tits” right before a character named June Khnockers exposes her breasts.  Did you get the subtly there?  Which brings to light the real tragedy of this film, “Malibu Express” was so low budget, they couldn’t even afford bras for the actresses.

    Let me discuss Cody again for a moment.  In the film, he is a private eye who is willing to help any woman in distress, or out of their dress in most cases.  Anyway, he does some great detective work in the movie, tampering with a crime scene and removing evidence before accidentally having the wrong person arrested for murder.  “CSI” this is not.  Hell, this isn’t even “Police Squad!”’

    What did I just watch?  Director Andy Sidaris sure does love his tasteful shots of butts.  Did I say tasteful?  I meant tasteless.  People remove articles of clothing in this film like they were playing hot potato with them.

    This movie was so incredibly silly it’s hard to put to words.  The hillbilly infused score left a sour taste in my mouth.  I did like the DeLorean vs. Fiero race scene however in part because my father owned a Pontiac Fiero.

    Like “Hard Ticket to Hawaii”, “Malibu Express” is a famous B movie and considered a fun movie to watch in a group of film buffs.  I have to admit that I found this film to be more consistently silly personally.  Was the movie enjoyable?  Was it good?  I guess it depends on your sense of humor.  

Grade: D+

(Although in a group of film buffs who enjoy B movies, I would grade this film a B because double D isn’t an actual grade I can give it).

Buy “Malibu Express” on Blu-ray Here!!!

"Hard Ticket to Hawaii" Movie Review

    Once again, the good people over at Mill Creek Entertainment were generous enough to provide me with review copies for the two Andy Sidaris films they are releasing on Blu-ray later this month.  The first film I chose to watch and review was “Hard Ticket to Hawaii”.

    To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t aware of this film before last year.  I happened to watch an old episode of Red Letter Media’s Best of the Worst YouTube video and “Hard Ticket to Hawaii” was one of the movies featured on that video.

    The film stars former Playboy Playmates Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton as roommates Donna and Taryn.  Donna and Taryn work for a secret agency when they accidentally stumble in the middle of a drug deal while transporting a deadly snake that happens to escape.

    I did some research on this film after watching it and a lot of film buffs rank this as one of the best and most iconic B movies of all time.  It is easy to see why, the movie is so bizarre and over the top that it is often ridiculous.  One problem with films like this is that they are best watched in a group where you and your friends can roast the movie as you watch it, when I review movies, I typically watch them by myself or with my girlfriend.  It’s not the same experience.

    Director Andy Sidaris was famous for his explotation films and “Hard Ticket to Hawaii” is perhaps one of his most famous (and shameless) pieces of work.  How do I describe how over the top this movie is?  Well there is a scene where the two female leads discuss their work topless and in a jacuzzi.  I mean, who doesn’t do detective work topless in a jacuzzi?

    There is also a scene in which the two lead actresses plug Sidaris’ other films including “Seven” and “Malibu Express” by discussing their movie posters.  Even in the 80s, who collected Andy Sidaris movie posters?  It’s one thing to reference your other work in Easter eggs or fun little nods, but this was on a whole other level.

    Should we even discuss the snake?  Well, the snake isn’t just any snake, it’s a mutant snake and basically only shows up when it is convenient to the plot.  The snake also looks hilariously fake.

    The film feels more like something out of a tv show of the era like “The A-Team” or “Miami Vice” than an actual feature film.  I think this may be in part due to the film’s over reliance on establishing shots.  The funny thing is some of those shots are actually very beautiful which is in contrast to the low budget nature of the rest of the film.

    How do I even rate this movie?  It is an iconic B movie and there is something to get out of it from it’s sheer corniness.  How do you rate something considered so bad it’s good knowing it is still bad yet you get entertainment from it?  I keep going around in circles on this movie and the rating I should give it.  So I decided to adjust my grading scale a little because it’s my blog and I can cheat like that.

Grade: D

(Although in a group of film buffs who enjoy B movies, I would grade this film a solid B which seems fitting for this B movie gem).

Buy “Hard Ticket to Hawaii” on Blu-ray Here!!!!